During revision, a writer should delete redundant or irrelevant wording from a narrative essay. This includes repeated ideas, unnecessary details, filler words, and sentences that do not help develop the story.
Good revision keeps the narrative focused and makes each sentence serve a clear purpose.
Delete Repetitive Wording
Repetition can slow the story and weaken important moments. When two words or sentences express the same idea, the writer should keep the stronger version.
Before revision:
I walked slowly and at a very slow pace toward the house.
After revision:
I walked slowly toward the house.
The phrase “at a very slow pace” repeats what “slowly” already tells the reader.
Repetition may also appear when a writer explains an emotion several times:
Before revision:
I was nervous as I approached the door. My hands shook because I felt nervous.
After revision:
My hands shook as I approached the door.
The action shows the nervousness without repeating it.
Remove Irrelevant Details
Descriptive details are important in a narrative essay, but they should support the setting, character, conflict, mood, or main event.
A detail should be removed when it distracts readers without adding anything useful.
Before revision:
I entered the kitchen. The refrigerator had four shelves and a small dent near the handle. I opened the back door and found my missing dog.
After revision:
I hurried through the kitchen, opened the back door, and found my missing dog.
The refrigerator description does not contribute to the important event, so it can be deleted.
Cut Unnecessary and Wordy Phrases
Some phrases use more words than necessary. Following the principles of concise writing makes a narrative clearer and easier to read.
Examples include:
- “Due to the fact that” → “because”
- “At that point in time” → “then”
- “Made the decision to leave” → “decided to leave”
- “Was able to see” → “saw”
- “In order to” → “to”
Before revision:
Due to the fact that it was getting late, we made the decision to return home.
After revision:
Because it was getting late, we returned home.
The revised sentence communicates the same idea more directly.
Delete Filler Words That Add No Meaning
Words such as “really,” “very,” “just,” “actually,” and “suddenly” can sometimes be useful. However, they should be removed when they do not change the meaning.
Before revision:
I was really very afraid when I suddenly heard a loud noise.
After revision:
A loud crash made me freeze.
The revised sentence uses a specific sound and action instead of weak modifiers. Purdue OWL’s guide to eliminating unnecessary words offers more examples of details and phrases that can be cut.
Replace Vague Wording
Vague language does not give readers a clear picture. Words such as “thing,” “stuff,” “nice,” “bad,” and “something” often need to be replaced with precise details.
Vague:
Something bad happened outside.
Specific:
A tree branch fell across the driveway.
Careful word choice helps readers picture the scene. Specific nouns and strong verbs are usually more effective than broad, general language.
Remove Explanations the Story Does Not Need
Writers sometimes explain an emotion after the character’s actions have already shown it.
Before revision:
I stared at the empty chair and folded the birthday card back into its envelope. I felt sad because my grandfather was gone.
After revision:
I stared at the empty chair and folded the birthday card back into its envelope.
The first sentence already suggests sadness. Removing the explanation allows readers to understand the emotion through the character’s actions.
Questions to Ask During Revision
A writer can use a simple revision checklist and ask:
- Does this sentence add new information?
- Have I already expressed this idea?
- Does this detail support the story?
- Can I say this more clearly with fewer words?
- Would the narrative still make sense without it?
If a word, phrase, or sentence adds nothing important, it should probably be deleted.
Final Answer
During the revision process, a writer should delete redundant, irrelevant, and unnecessary wording from a narrative essay. Removing repeated ideas, distracting details, filler words, and wordy phrases makes the story clearer, stronger, and easier to follow.
